This is a piece that I found in my archive, today it seems irrelevant. But at the same time, it also seems poignant. So I have decided to publish it on my blog.
At some point these feelings were applicable. Perhaps this can help someone else tackling the anxiety beast.
I feel it, back there, burning, digging, burying itself. Burrowing ever deeper into the back of my mind. A pit there. To receive every worry, concern and nonsense obsession… building and building over time. The worry ever pulsating.
With no rhyme or reason, it sits there and grows – festers, into an unhealthy black hole of worry that feeds on one’s own happiness. You can push and suppress, but it’s a temporarily quieted raging beast that rears its ugly head from time to time.
You never see it coming, it silently builds. And you barely notice the traction it’s gotten. You ignore and carry on with your day.
The signs start telling though… fatigue, worry, headaches, tensions, aggressiveness, intolerance, crankiness… those are the signs that poke through at first.
Breaking point seems inevitable at this point, although you are actually unaware that the beast is coming.
Then like a crazed fiend it appears, uncontrollable, belligerent and non-sensical.
Your family will ask what’s the problem, but there is no problem, not one thing you can pinpoint in time that has aggravated the beast.
It just is, a sleeping giant. Always being kept at bay, and occasionally getting control and winning the battle.